Friday, August 28, 2015

Yes Ma'am

I have spoken to Ronn the college freshman and he is in hog heaven. He has his own room. He shares his bathroom with only one other person. And apparently they have house keeping come and clean. I told them that they better give her nothing to do at all.

He's joined InterVarsity at his university and I couldn't be more pleased. I am less pleased that he will be attending a Toga party. I messaged him and warned him that there would be a lot of drinking. He told me that he is going with a sober group. Interesting. We did not have such things in my generation or at least that I was aware of.

I had been getting frustrated with the self centeredness of my kids. I was like that at their age too. Tonight is their first band concert and my youngest (tuba) first marching band experience ever.

I'm not going.

Instead, I am going with the ladies at church to see the movie "War Room." You probably don't know this but I am not a big Christian movie fan. I am a Christian. I like Christians (for the most part). I attend a Christian church. But the movies....aiyiyi I am hoping this one will be decent.

I am looking for work now and trying to figure out how I can have my cake and eat it too. I need a part time job that coincides with my children's schedule yet flexible enough for me to get my son at college if I need to. I think it's asking too much. I'll be looking at retail again and maybe banking. I'll continue to pray.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

This is a rant. Never mind me.

We had our last dinner before my aspie son leaves for college and my other two start high school. My youngest is starting high school. Can't believe it
Aspie took pictures of his food and basically stayed on his gd Ipod for almost the entire dinner. We told him several times to put it away but he didn't. We've told him over and over but he doesn't listen. He's 18. It falls on deaf ears and frankly I just won't put up with it anymore.
Our daughter is a snot to us. Great for everyone else but snotty and entitled to us. She's 16.
Our youngest is large. 6'4" tall at 14 1/2yo. When he's crabby it almost rattles the house. And he's crabby a lot.
I wanted to have a nice, happy dinner before everyone left. We sat frowning, scowling, trying. I asked everyone to just try to have a nice time and honestly no one could. As a parent I have tried so hard and my fruit, my reward is weak and sickly, at best. At least that's what it feels like. I see other families, smiling, laughing. I know they are not perfect by any means but for pity's sake, it should be better than this. We are *that* dysfunctional. We serve God as worship leaders, we are active in our church, we trust and love God and yet, our family life is a sad, dejected mess.
I thought that when my oldest went away to college, I would be sad. Frankly I can't wait, even though I worry that he's going to come back home with his tail between his legs.

Friday, August 7, 2015

College in t minus 10 days

As you know I live in the US. (Hi--Chicago) Anyway, my 18yo has asperger's and is going away to college in 10 days.
2 Hours spent signing up online for our insurance and dental, for the practice child. Wrote everything down (passwords). Copies in the wallet now. Emailed him a list of dentists and doctors close to the college, all who are in our network. Trying to avoid some of the insurance horror stories I've heard about.
The horror stories are kids (NT) going away, having to visit a doctor and the insurance covering nothing. What a nightmare. So I have sent the boy lists of people to see. He'll have to make a decision and will probably call us for help. Hopefully he will be proactive and do some leg work before anything happens but I doubt it.
Have you guys heard of antecedent? It's trying to anticipate things and make a plan. I have tried to live by this practice for the past umpteen years because I was told that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm....tired.


Ronn had four wisdom teeth removed yesterday. The doctors did a great job, even with a severely impacted tooth. The swelling is at a minimal. Next he goes for a quick visit to the orthodontist to check on his retainer. He'll get a shot for meningitis. And make about 15 copies for a resume so that the boy can get some type of work on campus.

We have worked our butts off---HE has worked his butt off to get to this point.

We are trying to practice antecedent and have done a fairly good job up to this point. It's getting close to being out of our hands. The parents are ready.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Summer Catch Up

It seems like forever since I've written anything here so I'll just briefly write down what's happened with everyone.

My husband is now the worship leader. Again. I am trying to stay out of it as much as possible. I would like to help him but I know that I will have to be assertive and I don't know if I'm up for the challenge, but I will wait to see where God shows me I need to be.

Ronn the percussionist has graduated and will be attending the college of his choice here in IL. I won't say where it is here because of privacy. He is still struggling with social problems. He wants to hang out with people but he has no one to do it with at the moment. However, he just returned from a missions trip and he had a great time. He came back recharged. We are all looking forward to the day when he goes to his first day away. All. of. us.

Hermionie is 16, therefore she has partially lost her mind. She is self centered, messy beyond words and has an attitude. However, she has also been to two music camps and practices her flute at least an hour and a half a day, usually more. She is staying out of trouble, but is in her own little music world. I am trying to make her life a little more balanced but it is really out of my control.

Harrey the youngest is now 6'4 1/2" (193cm) and  is more or less addicted to games, tv and Star Trek. We have been doing a continuous marathon and are now on Deep Space Nine. I am enjoying it with him, since I didn't watch it regularly when it was broadcast. He is eating us out of house and home, vacillates between crabby, bored and silly. He is officially on sousaphone and is taking a few lessons. He needs to get back into the trumpet too. And the boy needs to do something else besides play Minecraft and his other computer games.

I've lost over 35 pounds. Hurray for me! Weight Watchers is working for me and I am so thankful. I am continuing with a counselor, which has helped me a lot the past year and a half. I am being built up again. A little more confident. A little more healthier. I thought that I should be done by now but I see that I was wounded more than I thought.

I plan to blog a little more often than once a month. On Saturday, I have to drive 4 hours to Michigan and pick up my youngest from Boy Scout camp. Blogging gets pushed aside for these things.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Five Friday Flailings

1 I've lost 20 pounds this year. I'm doing Weight Watchers. It's working. It's hard but it's doable.

2 We are past February and we are done with it. Ronn the actor had tech week for his play; he played Mr. Salt and the Narrator in The Beauty and The Beast.

The following week Ronn the percussionist and Hermionie the flautist were downtown almost every day for their large ensemble/symphony on Friday, small ensembles on Saturday and a mad dash to Lemont, IL for a high school competition. We made that competition with 10 minutes to spare; Hermionie had to run to change into her dress and perform. Ronn the percussionist lucked out and only had to get his sticks ready as he was already in his tuxedo.

3 Harrey the trumpeter got a 1 for solo ensemble, which is fantastic. It was very obvious that he practiced. His tone is beautiful. His technique was terrible. Technique would be the way he plays the quicker notes. He's going to work on them. He is getting lessons and is improving.

4 Next week we will be getting a tuba for him to start back on. He played tuba all last year, loved it but his conductor needed a strong trumpet. I am not really into him going back and forth, but we will see.

Harrey is also the Boy Scout and wants to be the bugler. He has the music so all he has to do is learn it and do it. That's "all."

5 We bought a new vehicle. It is a 2013 Kia Sorrento. I will post a picture of it when I get a chance. Gas mileage is good, the heated seats are a DREAM, and it's a newer model. It seats 4 comfortably, 5 mostly comfortably and 7 uncomfortably.

Our other cars are 1990 Honda Civic that just its 25th birthday in January and a 1996 Isuzu Oasis.

Our mechanic told us to buy a new car. Yes, that bad. We will be parting with the Civic which hurts emotionally, believe it or not. My husband bought that car a month before we met. It has served us well over the many years. The minivan wins because of the amount of large people we have in our family and the stuff we have to schlep around.


Tomorrow is solo ensemble for the high schoolers and Ronn the senior's last one.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Friday Five

1 Ronn the actor is in his final high school play tonight. He has been in a play each of his high school years, similar to me. I was a Thespian, a committed actor, as my son is committed to music.

It is a bittersweet ending. He wanted a larger part but honestly he had no time. He thought that by being in the play he would have friendships like he did his freshman and sophomore year. People are friendly but he does not hang out with anyone there. We are hoping that will change in college.

2 Speaking of college, he was accepted into the school of music in one of his favorite schools. But it is not *the* favorite. He is upset that things are not going his way. I feel bad that he feels bad but I think this will be the place he lands.

3 Daughter Hermionie is sick with a cold-again. I think it's something to do with overworking herself. She will be home tonight resting before a long day on Saturday.

4 Harrey has a solo ensemble competition tomorrow. He does not work as hard as the other two and it is an unending source of irritation for me. I have to let it go and let him sort it out.

5 I have lost 17.6 pounds since the beginning of January. Weight Watchers is working for me but it is still hard.

It was a shock to see how much I weighed when I started but I faced it and I did not turn into dust. The actual weight loss has the added benefit of extra energy and so my house is benefiting. I know. I'm at home and my house should be spic and span. It's not but I'm working on it. At least more than I have.


I woke this morning with a song on my mind. I heard it when I was a new believer probably 25 years ago. What a lovely blessing it is to hear it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Two Days in a Life - Sunday, Day 1

My daughter Hermionie had to go to a music competition north of the city. Normally it would talk about 1 - 1 1/2 hours to get there from our house. Normal weather, including rain.

I live in Chicago.

To get to our destination we avoided the toll roads and drove through the city. This is what we came upon. I was going to say ran into, but that would be a terribly poor choice of words, in more ways than one.

We were going northbound but the accident happened in southbound traffic. It took us at least an hour to go about 2 miles. When we finally got through, the roads were terrible. Snow everywhere. Icy roads and crazy drivers who felt liberated and rushed from being in the horrendous traffic jam.

As we got closer to our destination, the snow got worse. It was almost white out conditions. Then I couldn't find the place. And why was that? I googled it and had the directions. Well, the directions on google were incorrect and I would have known that had my daughter forwarded the email from her conductor. The mother of my daughter's friend had to go in the snowy street and flag me down.

We got there in the nick of time. The parents and I dare say, the conductor, were probably angry at me. Why? Because I didn't have a smartphone and didn't take a different route.

Poor Hermionie. I felt so bad for her and upset and humiliated. The parents' look of disdain was just awful. So awful.

I took a different road back and honestly, there was no snow on the ground. It was all lake effect snow.

When I got back I slept for about 2 1/2 hours. The next day I faced a 3 hour ride to Decatur, IL.

More tomorrow.