The Overachieving little girl

Tonight my little 14 year old daughter is having their dinner dance aboard the cruise ship at Navy Pier in Chicago. It will get chilly and she needed a little shawl. She decided to make one herself.

It required more yarn that we thought, which is always the way. She made this in about a week. It is huge. The back fringe hangs almost to her knees. She'll be warm in the cool Lake Michigan breeze. It amazed me how quickly she made this, considering it took me 3 months of doing my little shawl.

Link to pattern: http://freevintagecrochet.com/shawl-patterns/spinnerin122/castanet-shawl-pattern

2013 Crochet Romantic Lacy Shawl

I made this prayer shawl for a woman at my church. I tried to pray for her and her situation as I stitched.

I had a hard time with this pattern when I started. I am finding it very difficult to read patterns in general so I was thrilled when I found someone who had made a video on youtube.

The yarn is neutral and light. If I ever make this again, I will use a darker colored yarn: blue, maybe green, teal or a dark gray or possibly black. I wasn't sure what to make her and I don't even know that she will ever use it. Maybe she'll give it to a sister or her daughter or pass it on--I don't know. The most important part was not the crocheting or the yarn.

Link to the pattern: http://www.redheart.com/free-patterns/romantic-lacy-shawl
Link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFjqPXfI4-8

Where antecedent, autism and parenting meet

Harrey the percussionist was accepted at that prestigious music school. Very happy. Ego stroked. We're thrilled. etc etc blabbity blah

However, it is a huge time commitment and he will likely miss some things at school, where he is also very happy.

He was a nervous quivering wreck before the audition. If he does it, he will grow as a musician and as a human. He will become much less fearful and poised when he auditions for colleges.

Now. This is a goal, an antecedent if you will. We want him confident and calm for the future because in 2 years, there it is. The percussion volunteer instructor will likely not be there his senior year. The music place will put him with other students at and above his level. It will prepare him for the next step.

At school he is loved, he is cared for, it is family. He is making memories and friends.

Both are good. Both are right. In the end, not my decision. I would prefer him to move on, because he will still be with the loving family for the next 2 years; he will just have to do less.

So did I do the right thing? Maybe not.

Weekend Update

Oldest at competition in one of the western-ish suburbs.

Daughter at the music school in downtown Chicago.

Youngest at Boy Scout camp in Cantigny.

I desperately need to get out with friends and find myself without them--or rather, severely lacking imagination?

I don't get out with friends enough. My word of the year is connect and I'm doing a poor job of it. And trying not to be paranoid of my lack of social opportunities.

Asperger's and the teenager - Time Management

If you have met one child with autism, you've met...one child with autism.

That is one of my favorite sayings. Brain functionality is different for every human being and this includes human beings with autism or asperger's or every shade in between.

My son struggles just like every other 16 year old. True, some of his struggles are specifically social. He does not hang out or at least not often. He doesn't have a lot of friends but he does have some. The problem is that he has to adapt to the herd and be a little flexible. Ronn is trying to figure out what he likes and doesn't like and for now, he's just not that into anime.

Thankfully his friends are flexible with him, more or less.

One thing that we as parents are discovering is that he is having a hard time with his schedule. He is involved with too many things and doesn't know how to budget his time so that he gets all his homework done on time. We all struggle with this at one time or another but right now, he is a mess.

It's hard to know what to do. He is 16, after all and we need to give him breathing room. But it is not grade school anymore. These grades will reflect to college boards when we send in his transcripts. We parents are now making him write things down in his assignment notebook which include extracurricular activities. It's not working. I think we need a monthly calendar.

April is a very busy month for our family. We will get through it but it would nice if our kids knew how to do it themselves. Maybe this is just part of parenting that we weren't warned about in baby class.

Thankful Tuesday

No lists today.

For some reason March was rough for me. Maybe it was the complete lack of sunshine. Maybe it was hormones. I have no idea but I spent the week before Easter week crying about my youngest. Did anything change with him? Lose friends? Bullied? He's depressed? No. Just me, making something out of nothing. He's not hanging around the same people he did a couple of years ago but we knew this. He's not friends with the kids in the class but we knew that too. He's not hanging around the kid he did last year but we knew that too; they are friendly but they don't hang out.

I thought that this kid turned his back on Harrey too. He didn't.

My daughter is a teenager. I don't know when this happened or why I think that things will be different--that she will become a fourth grader again and still be a girl. She is a girl, but it's all changed. She is doing track and has reconnected with a friend, who happens to be a boy. Hermionie was this boy's first love in first grade. They have always been friends but as schedules and activities change, they don't see each other. She told me yesterday that she misses talking to him but feels that she can't. That talking would be miscontrued and misunderstood by everyone. And it would be. And things would be different for them too and I think she knows that too.

This made me cry too.

Ronn is sixteen and I am not anymore. I'm the parent. This means part of me wants to strangle him.

As I've said he is thinking of going to Belmont University in Nashville; yes, he is only a sophomore. Our goal is college. I have taught him how to make his bed, do his own laundry, cook a little, clean bathrooms and take care of himself in a dorm room. We won't get into the social things.

Tiime management is a thing that we are plowing through. He is overbooking himself and he procrastinates on his homework because....he's never had to do it when he was growing up. Hardly ever. Everything came easy and now it does not. This was the second year that he did not make straight A's and I think his mind is officially blown. Our minds are blown too but we're trying to give him a break.

In spite of all these things, I really am very thankful this morning. My new favorite PBS television show is Call the Midwife. It is set in the 1950s in a poor section of London and is about nurses and women giving birth. One of the women was in a codependent, abusive relationship and she was pregnant. She also had a young daughter. She was so attached, so in love or enthralled, that she neglected her children; ultimately she and the husband went to jail for child endangerment and neglect.

That woman was me. I was in a terrible relationship and honestly, it is by the grace of God that this was not me. I wonder how I could be the slacker mother that I am today without the support, kindness and love of my husband. I joke about being a slacker mom, of course. I'm neither horrible nor great. I pray that my children will grow up and be strong, independent and kind.

So once again I am thankful for my family. And what was. And what is.

Classic Roman Beans and Rice

I am copying this recipe from the back of a package of dried Roman Beans from Goya. I looked online for the recipe and it is not published. That's a shame because it is delicious.

Classic Roman Beans and Rice

1/2 pound Goya dry Roman Beans
2 Tbsp. Goya Olive Oil
1/2 C smoked ham, chopped
1/2 C onion, chopped
1/4 C green pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 packet Sazon Goya con Culantro y Achiote
1/4 C Goya Tomato sauce
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground pepper
1/4 tsp oregano

Sort and wash beans. In a large saucepan, soak beans in 4 cups of water. Do not drain. Meanwhile, heal oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir in ham, onion, pepper and garlic until tender. Stir mixture into beans in saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer until beans are tender. Add more hot water if necessary. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cook 10 minutes longer. Serve over hot cooked rice. Serves 4.

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My version

1 pound dried Roman Beans, cooked with 2 bay leaves - maybe use 1/2 pound cooked
Olive oil
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp oregano (or to taste)
1/2-1 C onion
4-5 garlic cloves, minced
1 green or red pepper, slice in thin strips
1 small can no-salt-added tomato sauce
ground pepper to taste
fresh cilantro, chopped (to taste--I used about 1/8 of a cup)
Cooked Rice

In a skillet, saute onions and garlic in olive oil and cover pan to steam. Add green or red pepper, dried oregano and smoked paprika. Heat until red peppers are almost tender. Add cooked beans and tomato sauce. Heat thoroughly. Check salt and pepper. Add cilantro; stir. Serve over rice.

I would definitely make this again. My husband, the boys and I loved it. My daughter wouldn't go near it but I'm not surprised. My youngest loved the fresh taste of cilantro. If you don't like cilantro, you could definitely use flat leaf parsley.

When I make it again, I will post a picture here.