Cleaning and Music

I like Flylady. She has good suggestions about wearing sturdy shoes, putting on a crown and listening to music.

I've tried pretty Celtic Music. Doesn't work. I want to write and then I get depressed because I'm not.

I've tried Disco. I get distracted by singing along. Same with Christian Praise and Worship. Loved it but started singing and praising like a Pentecostal and got nothing done, except worship. Worship is great but my house was still a mess.

One day, on a whim, I tried Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin, Tom Petty, Pink Floyd, Cream and Lynrd Skynrd is my cleaning music, according to Pandora. What's yours?

By the by, the high school marching band played this song in between football plays. Great percussion song.

I finally got it

I fumed for about an hour about a small slight against my youngest. My husband just shook his head and said, like me, he's tired of it.

It's not about one incident. It's about a thousand small slights heaped up on top of each other and then I got it.

I am mad. Not angry mad. But stupid insane stubborn booby hatch mad. I have kept thinking "Why won't these nice kids accept my nice son?"

Then I saw that he had problems. I know that you can't get along with everyone but come on, not one friend in his grade? Watching him walk home alone, watching him look so lonely. Seeing him as a victim.

Enough. And oddly, I think he's had it too, which is very, very good.

I think Einstein said it best. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think you could insert "expecting the same thing..." and you have the same thing.

It's time for new.

Common Sense I'm learning

You may remember the incident with my youngest. I drive him and two other boys to band. The boys would not say hi to me or good bye to me until I forced the issue. I have not had a problem with that since then.

This afternoon I brought my son and one of the kids to band. The kid took his instrument out of my trunk and left. My son was getting water for himself and his sister, who is a helper, and once again, walking in alone.

It made me angry. I told my son, "See what he did? Don't you do that, do you understand? That...was...rude."

I told my neighbor about it and she said,

"Chris, I think it's the age. I think they're just learning."

Yes, they are 11 years old, 5th graders. I get that. They've lost their mind, but guess what? Rude is rude and as far as my own kids go, I'm not having it.

Travelings and Packings

We have been traveling with the kids since they were little, mostly in the car. We are not big air travelers so the first time we went on a plane, my youngest was 5 years old. My older two were ages 7 and 9.

My older two kids read early at age 3; my younger one was later at age 4. It made things very easy for us to travel because I made lists.

My mom made always made lists when we traveled. She didn't make one for me but she did for herself, every single time. And she was good about checking it off too.

I didn't know any better so when I traveled, I just picked up where she left off and did the same thing. It has proved to be a God-send for our family.

The first thing I do is get an index card. I like either size, but it depends on how long we will be traveling. I also like having everything listed on one side. I know it's a little crazy but it's not wrong; it works for me and maybe my family too.

This is what a typical list will look like on the card.

(Name of Child)

# of underwear toothpaste Shampoo/conditioner

# of socks toothbrush Soap

pjs comb/brush retainers

pillow and blanket soap/zit cream lip balm

__________________________________________________________________________

# of Jeans

# of t-shirts

# of polo shirts/dress shirts

slippers/flip flops

extra shoes

In addition, I have given my oldest and will give the other two a bag of all.

The bag of all is an abbreviated version of my Samsonite Cosmetic case. We would be lost without this dumb case. It has everything. Soap, extra shampoo, razors, hair dryer, dishsoap, a very small package of laundry detergent, feminine things, t.p., change, bobby pins, safety pins. I love this thing.

I made up a gallon size freezer bag for my oldest when he went away on his band trip. This thing had safety pins, clothes pins, cotton balls and ear swabs, change, pencils/pens and bandaids. I don't think he used any of them but it doesn't matter. It stays in the suitcase and it's there if he needs it.

Before we leave wherever we are, I always go through the list. This helps scattered me make sure that we haven't left anything behind. It helped the kids keep track of their stuff.

It may or may not help someone who has kids with Asperger's or ADHD. All I know is that it helped me from losing my mind when we go away from home.

On a side note, this does NOT prevent me from forgetting things. However, I always make a note on my list for next time.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

My youngest son has hair pulling disorder. It's proper term is trichotillomania. He started up again recently, as I've said. I saw the back of his head this morning and I think he's still doing it, as the spot is becoming not larger, but longer.

He has been having trouble taking a shower. I have laughed and blogged about how long it takes him to actually take a shower and how he hates to take a shower in the first place.

Showering has become a big problem this year. The boy has body odor and acne. His acne is not bad, but it's there. I bought him some acne pads because they are quick to use in the morning. He has to be clean.

It has become a full fledged battle. When we finally get him in the bathroom, it takes him at least half an hour, if not more, to get into the shower and turn it on to use it. I found myself yelling every single time. My husband is already on the edge and ready to blow up at him. Either way, it is not helpful.

I had to get ingredients for dinner tonight so I was at the store first thing this morning. I was walking to check out and I got a little whisper. A little nudge.

He can't help it.

I knew it was about the shower. I don't remember the exact words but I knew. It's OCD. This is not just about hair pulling.

Ok.

I called Bruce and told him to think about it. He's so sad and weary.

Well, it looks like it's on me, then. We'll try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We'll try Homeopathy. We'll try anything to do what it takes. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I will move heaven and earth for my children. I've been there with Ronn and I'll do it again now with Harrey.

Tuesday Triflings

The three kids have major testing for the next 2 weeks before Spring Break. I remember that when I was a kid and I remember hating it.

Ronn the marimba-ist was severely disappointed that he got a "2" score instead of a "1" score this weekend. I felt so bad for him but once he saw the judges comments, he was fine. Disappointed but calm. His teachers will debrief him.

Ronn has a habit of waiting to the very last minute to do things. I have to see if we can help him out of that.

Hermionie is doing ok. I am having a hard time figuring her out. She's pulling away, becoming more independent. A little more detached. She wasn't always like this. I suspect it's part of maturing.

Harrey has been playing a little basketball outside with his "alley friend'-the kid who lives behind us. It's good to see him outside playing because that's what he always liked to do. He seems a little less sad which eases my heart.

My husband is down. I didn't realize how down until we talked yesterday. He hates his job and I can relate. But he's at an age that he won't be able to find anything else that pays the same. He's been at his job for 15 years in July and if he leaves, he'll be starting from scratch. I don't know that it would not be worth seeing what other companies are like. He has a friend is taking a transfer to California with a substantial pay increase. I told Bruce that pay increase will be absorbed into housing and food and California prices.

We are not going to move, as far as we can see it. I wouldn't mind relocating nearer to my parents, but I don't see that happening either. As much as I hate to admit it, I am content to be here.

Friday Flayings

I finished crocheting a dark teal scarf and will wear it today when I walk my crazy dog. I have pictures to post too.

This weekend my oldest has a solo ensemble all day tomorrow. Thankfully it's on the southside and closer to home than the other one.

Hermionie is getting back into a routine. She put all her energy in her solo ensemble a couple of weeks ago. Now she can go back to some other groups that she's joined. I like her to be a little more broad in her activities. It's not too much at the moment; it was too much last month.

Harrey.

Harrey crossed over and became a Boy Scout. I know this is old news but it's on my mind. He went to his first Boy Scout meeting. He was understandably nervous, but I saw him playing and smiling. They played some games and he was shy about joining. He came round but he has learned to be cautious.

I emphasize, he learned to be cautious. I always thought that people were naturally shy. It's true but it's also a reaction to circumstances.

So. Harrey made friends with a kid who lives across the alley. His name is Bill and he goes to another parochial school in the city. Bill has a heart condition, had major surgeries and is cautious around kids his age. Harrey became friends but they don't see each other very often.

Bill was playing outside with former friends of Harrey. The former friends, who also live across the alley, told Harrey, "We're not going to play with you anymore."

Oh, yeah. And this from another parochial school.

Anyway, Bill was playing with them. Harrey saw them and Bill said, "Hi!." Several times.

I told Harrey to get his butt over there and play with Bill. He didn't want to go.

I said, "Bill is your friend and you have every right to be over there playing with him. He wants you to be there. Don't worry about the other kids. Now go over there."

My kid is gun shy but you know what? Too bad. After arguing, he took him bike over there and came back home. I made him get his bike and go back because I'm a hateful old witch.

Guess what? Harrey played outside with Bill and the other kids for about an hour and a half.

Once in a while, the mom is right.